Southern Hospitality

So a couple weeks ago I drove from my home in Colorado to see my grandfather in Southern Oklahoma. It was a lovely trip with perfect weather the whole way, but I had one bizarre experience in Texas. I had left Raton, New Mexico on the morning of my second day and was enjoying my drive through the vast open nothing heading for Texas. I was on smaller highways, most of them with a speed limit of 65, but the roads were dotted with tiny towns, primarily they looked like agro or oil communities. Around the are of Texline, Texas I passed into one such tiny town, and predictably the speed limit started dropping. 65…55…45…35. Now I’ve done enough road travel to know a speed trap town when I see one, so I dutifully dropped my speed and thought all was well. Heck, there was a car in front of me at a comfortable distance, so what could go wrong? What I didn’t think about was the fact that they had New Mexico plates, and I didn’t.

Sure enough when I came around a bend there were two Texas Sheriff vehicles sitting on the side of the road. I didn’t think anything of it, I was well aware of the limit and was doing 38mph when one of them pulled in behind me and lit the lights. Okay, three miles per hour over, huh? I started to wonder why I was being stopped. I did as a high school teacher had taught me years ago: Pulled over calmly and turned the motor off and placed the keys on the dashboard and my hands on the wheel. The officer approached and we exchanged the normal pleasantries, after which he said:

“I’m stopping you because I got you going a little fast.” I didn’t know what to say, I knew I wasn’t going more than five over, and I was going three over when he lit me up, but I knew enough to decide that saying any of that wouldn’t be productive, so instead I simply responded: “Oh man…”

He asked for my license and after seeing it asked if I would get out and come talk to him back at his car, the claim being that traffic noise made it difficult to hear me. Nonsense, we were in the middle of nowhere, exactly one truck passed during out interaction. I started to understand what he was actually after.

I agreed, because what else could I do? I hopped out and he told me to get in the passenger seat of his car. Again, I thought it was odd, but it confirmed my suspicions. Sure enough, as soon as I got in he asked me if I still lived in Boulder. Crap. I told him yes, born and raised there, and then he got to the meat of it:

“You don’t have anything in the car you aren’t supposed to do you?”

No I didn’t, and I responded accordingly. I realized I still had my sunglasses on, so I quickly removed those and looked him dead in the eye while answering. No, my eyes aren’t bloodshot and no, I don’t smell like pot. He changed topic for a moment and asked where I was headed, I told him the town and tried to demonstrate that I know the area at least a little. I work with the police in my day to day enough to understand what was happening, he was looking to catch me in a small lie so he had something to judge against when he started in with the real questions again and I wasn’t going to fall into his trap. I knew where I was going and I was telling him the truth. Then things got weirder still:

“It’s just with that stuff being legal up there… you wouldn’t put any in your car and drive across state lines would you?” He thought for sure he had an easy bust going. I guess I fit the profile, I’m in my mid thirties and was travelling alone in the middle of nowhere with Colorado plates. I responded honestly: “Hell no.” Was all I had to say to that. What I wanted to say is that no I don’t, because I’m not a fucking idiot. You think I don’t know that Colorado tags are basically a big target on my back when I’m in any other state? You think I was born last night Officer? Again, none of that seemed like it would be productive so I zipped it.

“You ever use any of that stuff when you are at home?” Was his next question. I’ll leave it that I answered honestly, because he was still looking to catch me in any kind of lie he could. What I left unsaid yet again was the obvious question: What the hell does that have to do with the speed limit in Texas? Maybe next life I’ll be braver, but I just wanted to get where I was going and not fight with the cops in nowheresville Texas. “Would you have an issue if I search your car?” I’d be lying if I said I didn’t see it coming. And of course I have a problem with that, YOU HAVE NO JUSTIFICATION! But no, I didn’t say that. I knew one way or another he was going to be searching the car, or at least writing me a frivolous speeding ticket that he knew I was going to pay. No way I’m driving back to Texline to go to court over three to five miles per hour. So I allowed it, even knowing I didn’t have to and shouldn’t. I also knew I didn’t have anything illegal in the car and really didn’t want him getting a K9 unit out there. In my experience, K9 units NEVER fail to find something, and all that would do is result in everything I was carrying being pulled out on the side of the highway. I don’t feel great about making that choice, but when put on the spot I wasn’t able to weigh out the risk and reward enough so I made what I thought was the right call.

As he was getting out I let him know I had two rifle bags in the car, but both of them were empty. I was going to be bringing some firearms home and wasn’t sure if they had bags already so I came prepared. I didn’t expect his response: “Oh uh… I wouldn’t have asked it’s just that you have a lot of stuff.” Well yeah, I’m on a road trip. I kept that one in my head too. I’m still trying to figure out what he meant by that though. That he wouldn’t have asked about the rifle bags? Then what does the rest of the stuff have to do with it? That he wouldn’t have asked to search if I hadn’t had luggage? Why though? Can’t you smuggle drugs without a car load of clothes and supplies? I’m not sure why, but my saying that seemed to take some of his head of steam away but I may have imagined that. Either way the “search” of my car took less time than the conversation about it. He opened my passenger door, stuck his head in and that was it. I’m assuming he just wanted to sniff and when he didn’t smell anything besides some stale coffee he lost interest.

He came back to me in his car still and asked to see my insurance card, but when I went to pull it up on my phone he told me never mind and that it had come up on his computer. Okay, I didn’t know they could do that, but whatever. He told me to “watch my speed” and have a good day. I shook his hand and got out, and that was that. It’s worth noting that he never asked about my registration and lost interest in the insurance as soon as he asked about it. Maybe all that came up on his end, but this is the first time I’ve ever been stopped and not had those checked. Not that I mind exactly, but I think it shows a bit of what his real intentions were with the stop. I don’t think my speed had anything to do with it, in fact I don’t even think he had a radar gun running. I think he saw Colorado plates and was going to pull me over no matter what. And frankly, that pisses me off.

Look, I understand, and I bet they make a shit load of money doing exactly that. He wasn’t looking for pounds of pot, he wanted to find a roach in the ashtray. Maybe a cashed out bowl on the carpet or a cigarette cellophane with a few stems in it. Less paperwork for him and an easy buck for the county. Profiling works, ethical or otherwise, and I wager someone else got busted right there later that very day. This is the real issue I have: Using police as a revenue generation device inevitably leads to these kinds of things. He wasn’t there to make sure everyone was driving safely, he wasn’t even there to stop the flow of marijuana into Texas. He was there to make some money for a small county without a lot of industry. I’m making a lot of assumptions there, but when was the last time you got stopped for going three over the limit? It’s easy to say that if you aren’t doing anything illegal you shouldn’t care, but that isn’t how our legal system works. My innocence should be assumed, not my guilt. If I had appeared stoned or smelled like pot, by all means search away, that would be justified. My having Colorado tags does not amount to probable cause from what I can tell.

For the record, I’m not calling any offices or looking to get anyone in trouble. I don’t know the name of the officer I spoke to and don’t care, it just made me think about the way law enforcement conducts themselves and some possible improvements that could be made. Logically speaking, Colorado tags do make sense as a trigger for a search, but legally speaking that is bull shit.